The past few months have come with a little added stress here and there, and Buck’s recent change in his sleep pattern and diet has had me completely out of whack. I have not been able to sleep more then 3-4 hours without being woken up at night, and my appetite had completely diminished. I started forcing myself to eat because I knew it wasn’t good. But then I found myself bouncing back and forth between Subway and Dominoes, just because it was EASY. Oh, and my allergies were going haywire as well. This was not good. I had no energy through the day, and would often find myself light headed as it would be 8p before I would eat anything.
I tried to do the Boot camp at my apartment complex and I was having extreme difficulty completing the exercises – especially any running or cardio related things. Strength wasn’t the problem, but fatigue would set in much fasted. It was if my body was 98% zapped of energy and it was trying to use the last 2% to complete the boot camp. I took a week off hoping to get myself re-energized. It helped a little. Then I looked in the mirror and I was completely disgusted with what I saw. This can’t be happening.
The most obvious, I began to put on a little weight, not much – but enough to scare me. I had dark circles under my eyes that no amount of miracle concealer could make disappear. I stopped caring about my appearance – and lost the motivation to make myself look presentable (unless I was going out to meet people – then I’d get glammed up) and no motivation to complete the 30 day Make Up Challenge (Although I ordered some new products over 2 weeks ago that I wanted to use for the next look… that STILL haven’t arrived thanks to UPS’s incompetency). I found myself moving on autopilot, and would frequently feel ready to pass out.
This. Isn’t. Me.
I knew that I had to change something mentally in order to physically see results – ie – stop looking like a damn zombie!
It was Friday and I was tired, I was drained, didn’t eat dinner and didn’t want to move when I called up the Orange Theory Fitness by me. It’s my gateway class to help motivate me to get back to the gym, so I signed up for that night, Saturday and a Sunday class. And of course I have my boot camp class on Monday. I figured I’ll prob be in for a world of hurt by day 3. The number one thing I said to myself is – DO WHAT FEELS COMFORTABLE NOW. Don’t stress about the weights, or your state of cardio. Don’t go in thinking I can do what I can when I’m at my best and over exert myself.
Friday’s class was not easy. Particularly the cardio part, but I finished and pushed myself to what I could do and for that I was content. Today’s Saturday class, I did a little better. I feel a bit more rested, and a little bit stronger physically and I’m thinking clearer as well. I decided to treat myself to a cryotherapy session to help get the blood flowing and also help with the recovery. I still have a long way to go before I’m back to 100%, but as long as I can improve a little each day, I’ll take it.
Working out and fitness helps me get in the right mind set, it is so frustrating to feeling weak and running on E, when all I want to do was hit the gym. I avoided it knowing it was unsafe at that time for me to physically be training. Instead I found myself mentally deteriorating as well. Each passing day I wasn’t working out, I was yelling at myself saying, ‘See!!! another day gone by and you’ve done nothing!’. I’m thankful that Orange allows me to set my pace do a degree, but gives that feeling of motivation, accountability and not allowing myself to give up. I’m giving myself 2 weeks to get back to normal and to start hitting it hard!
Leave a Reply